Catherine Nelson Ph.D. – BBSH / Pathwork

in These Troubled Times

Catherine Nelson, Ph.D.
March – April 2026 • Vol 4, No 21

There are many concerning events happening in our world, in other countries, and in our country. Many are feeling overwhelmed, saddened, worried, and deeply disturbed. Some people don’t know what to do, and some worry much of the time. Some feel alone if not lost in the labyrinth of all the constant, negative information in the media.

We each need to find our way and a clear path that will give us hope and nurture us. Here are some suggestions. First, either stop watching or reduce your time watching the barrage of information on TV and on our APPs about wars, natural disasters, major conflicts, etc. The visuals we see again and again seem to penetrate deeply into our psyche and contribute to de-pression, gloom, and sadness. You can choose to stay informed but listen to the radio and programs that have a mix of information instead of watching visual disasters.

A second suggestion is to listen to music you enjoy, watch TV programs that make you laugh, or watch beautiful programs about wild places and wildlife. You have lots of choices. Make conscious choices about what is best for you.

Another suggestion is to turn your attention to your local community and find ways to participate and be of service. You can volunteer with a nonprofit and meet good people who also want to be of service. Choose a group or organization that gives you pleasure through your mutual interest in their goals. Focus more on the needs and work of different groups in your local community where you can contribute to making positive change. You may have special skills or natural talents that would be helpful to a particular group. Perhaps you enjoy books and could help at the library. Maybe you enjoy children and can volunteer at a nonprofit to care for children after school. Your work in your community will help you to feel valued, and it will help you to make a positive difference in your local area.

Another idea is to find time for pleasurable activities with your friends and family members. Even if you are an introvert and like to be alone a lot, in these times, we all need positive support and interaction with those we love. The bonds of friendship and family can be very nurturing and emotionally supportive. However, the “connections” need to be in person—not on cell phones. You can’t hug someone or pat someone on the back on a cell phone. You want to physically be with the person in the moment, hear his or her voice, look at the person, and laugh together. We all need each other, especially those we value and love.

The last suggestion is about how much you value yourself. Some say that every human being has two purposes in life. One is about his or her personal growth, which often comes about as we live our lives and the choices we make over time. The second purpose of every human being is to share their unique gifts and talents with others. Yes, we all have different abilities and skills, and when we share them with others, we make the world a better place. When we follow our heart’s longing and our intuition, we usually discover what those gifts and talents are and, in return, we will feel valued. The more we help others in ways that feel good and are easy to do, the more we will realize our life’s purpose.

Scott and Pete are two older men in their seventies. Scott’s wife died several years ago and his grown children live far away. Scott was a mechanic at a utility company. He retired in good health, eager to enjoy being outdoors. Pete, who lives in the same small town, is also retired. He worked for a well-known express delivery company for many years and enjoys being physically active. He was divorced many years ago and lives alone. The two men met each other while fishing. They found they had a lot in common—especially the outdoors and living a healthy life. They were not members of the same political party, but they respected each other’s different points of view. Gradually the friendship deepened, and the two men had fun and liked to do many things together.

Often after a morning of fishing, they went over to the town’s one-and-only grocery store where they would get their morning coffee. There was a comfortable wooden bench outside the store where they usually sat and talked. No one knows how it happened, but gradually, Pete and Scott found themselves helping some of the customers in the store with their groceries. Martha, a mother with the two little children, often needed help, as did Tom, an older man who had difficulty putting groceries in his car. Another customer, Nina, who was in a wheelchair, needed help with heavy bags of dog food.

The two men came several times a week to enjoy their free coffee and help the customers. The grocer, Mr. Brown, really appreciated their help as much as his customers did. Mr. Brown was competing against a national supermarket that had recently opened in the county and his prices were higher. However, his customers were loyal to shopping at his store because of the help Scott and Pete freely provided. Others in the small town were also coming to the grocery store because of the friendly atmosphere that had been created.

Nina, like Pete and Scott, was also a thoughtful and caring person. She grew upon a farm with lots of animals. There were chickens, ducks, cats, dogs, sheep, horses, and even a donkey. She loved caring for the animals, and she seemed to have a special talent training their family dogs over the years. As a young woman, she opened a dog-boarding facility and taught classes to teach people how to work with their dogs. She was busy and successful until she had a major car accident when she was 40 years old. It took Nina quite some time to recover emotionally from the loss of her physical ability to continue her work with dogs.

About two years after her accident, Nina was contacted by the head of the county animal shelter and was asked to work with them. Nina accepted with reservations, not sure she could help at their facility. She gradually discovered that she was needed and valued. Nina helped people who were coming to look for a dog find the right kind of dog for their home and lifestyle. Nina was also able to identify solutions for behavioral problems with different dogs. The animal shelter developed a positive reputation and received many donations. Nina learned how valuable her abilities and past experience training dogs were even in a wheelchair. Actually, she was called the “dog guru” by many of the locals.

What is your heart’s longing? Which direction do you want to go with your abilities and skills?

Catherine Nelson, Ph.D. has a counseling practice in Bozeman with many years of experience working with individuals and groups. She has taught at the Barbara Brennan School of Healing and is a certified Pathwork Helper. She offers workshops on personal transformation and energy healing and is available for individual sessions. Call Catherine at (406) 585-8025. E-mail to: cnhobbit@gmail.com.

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Making Conscious Choices with Positive Intentions

Catherine Nelson, Ph.D.
November – December 2025 • Vol 4, No 19

Leslie bought a young horse and she had it shipped from Kentucky to her home in Wyoming. It was a long journey for a three-year-old gelding, but the horse did well. The trailer driver, Joe, cared about all the horses he transported. He always made sure they had good water and hay and breaks from standing for hours in the trailer. When Joe delivered the gelding, Leslie was pleased with the horse’s surprisingly good condition and she thanked Joe. As they talked, the topic of politics came into the conversation. Leslie realized that Joe was a member of the “other” political party. She suddenly ended the conversation and Joe left puzzled and wondering why she had cut him off so quickly and seemed to be angry with him.

Her friend, Nancy, came over to see the new horse and she listened to Leslie who was still angry about Joe’s political statements. Leslie told Nancy that she did not want to ever talk to or see Joe again. Nancy did comment on how good the new gelding looked from such a long journey, but Leslie was too angry to even acknowledge Nancy’s observation.

Jack is twenty and graduating from college. He has a gift for learning languages. He can speak five different languages and plans to learn more. Soon he will join the Air Force and travel the world helping his country. His father, Doug, grew up in Idaho. His parents have always lived there. Doug works as a mechanic repairing tractors and other farm equipment. Every year Doug hunts in the fall and fishes all year with his friends. Doug and his wife, Mary, enjoy the way they live their lives and they raised Jack to be like them.

Jack is like his parents in some ways but not in all ways. Jack became a vegetarian as a child and he does not like hunting or his father’s politics. Doug does not understand his son and Mary, who is proud of Jack, remains quiet when he comes home. Doug and Jack end up arguing a lot. The holidays are coming and Jack may not come home this time.

Bill is fifty years old and the owner of a general store in a small town in Vermont. His family goes back three generations and he is proud of his Christian heritage. He is a deacon in the only church in town and he is respected by his neighbors and fellow residents. They look up to him and seek his leadership. His wife is well known for her charitable activities too.

Recently two refugee Muslim families moved to Bill’s town. The adult men and women seek work but their English is poor. They are grateful to be in the United States and are willing to work hard in their new life. Bill is having a hard time accepting Muslims in his town. He has not spoken critically about them, but he also has not spoken in favor of them as newcomers. He is skeptical of their beliefs and religious practices, since they are not Christians.

The Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays are coming in the next few weeks and Bill has a lot of work to do in his store. There are many shipments of boxes, supplies, and holiday foods arriving and he needs more help which is hard to find. Amir, one of the young Muslim men, is wanting work and willing to work ten hours a day, six days a week. Bill hires him even though his English is poor. Amir is a bright young man and he learns quickly what he is to do. Bill closely monitors his work and sees how willing this young man is. Bill occasionally gives Amir a broken box of food for his family and Amir is most grateful.

The winter weather arrived with ice and snow in town. One night, Lucy, Bill’s seventy-year-old mother, attended an evening meeting planning for the holiday with her friends. She walked home in the dark, tripped and fell at an icy intersection. She twisted her ankle and struggled to get up. Amir, who was walking in her direction, saw her and ran over to help her walk home. Lucy did not know the young man but was grateful for his help. She realized his English was poor so at her front door, she held his hand and smiled at him to thank him. Amir hurried home. The next day Lucy told Bill about the young man who had helped her. Bill realized the man was most likely Amir. Lucy insisted that Bill do something to thank Amir. Bill was increasingly impressed with Amir.

After several days of thinking about how he could best help Amir, Bill contacted his fellow church leaders and asked them to fund an English language program for adults who don’t have good English-speaking skills. The church funded the program and it was successful. Local teachers volunteered and helped set it up to teach several times during the week for those who worked long hours on their jobs. Amir and his family members attended along with others in the community who didn’t speak English well. As their English skills improved, they became more valuable workers to the local businesses. Bill was “seeking common ground” for Amir. It was a great idea.

The phrase, “seek common ground,” requires two elements. It involves a willingness to “search” for something that may not be obvious and secondly, the search needs to come from our heart with a positive intention. As we approach the holiday season in the months ahead, many of us will have the opportunity to seek common ground with one another. Yes, we will be with family members, friends and others. We will be eating together, drinking together, and participating in group activities. And yes, there will be differences among us—political, racial, ethnic, social, etc.

Can we each make conscious choices with positive intentions and seek common ground with those close to us? Can we let go of demanding that everyone else think like us, look like us, vote like us, and even pray like us? Can we seek to nourish the deeper values of our humanity with each other? After all—that’s what Thanksgiving and Christmas are about—to bring forth our gratitude, our goodness, our kindness, our generosity, and our caring of other people—whomever the “other” might be.

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Can Be So Limiting for the Ones We Love…

Catherine Nelson, Ph.D.
July – Aug 2025 • Vol 4, No 17

Karla, Frank and their six-year-old son, Joey, come from a small farming town where everyone knows almost everyone else. Karla and Frank grew up in the town and each of their parents live there, too. They know the likes and dislikes of their neighbors and other locals, and they all have their different values and beliefs. However, the residents have experienced many kinds of crises—storms, floods, even forest fires over the years, and everyone comes together to help each other out. They have learned the value of working together and sharing limited resources in time of need.

Frank graduated from the state college in Clarkston. He is now a hard-working accountant and would like to start his own business someday. He learned a lot about Clarkston, and he feels there will be a better opportunity to increase his business skills and explore different business opportunities. Karla is a graduate of the same college, and she too has plans for her career in education. They have decided to move to Clarks-ton. Karla is staying at home to raise Joey and help him get established in the new school system. She has a part-time job on the Internet, and her work is easily transferable to the new location.

Karla and Frank bought a nice older home in an established neighborhood. It was a Monday early in August when Karla, Frank and Joey moved into their new home. Joey wanted to play, and he asked his Mom what to do. Karla had seen a little boy next door, so and she suggested Joey go knock on the neighbor’s door and see if the boy could play with him.

Their next-door neighbors, Walt and Mary, have lived in Clarkston for many years. They have a six-year-old son, Jimmy, who is starting first grade. He likes to play baseball. Mary is a part-time volunteer at a nearby rest home and she works several afternoons during the week. Walt owns and manages a body shop for cars and trucks. He works long hours and often works six days a week. His business has a good reputation in Clarkston.

Joey followed his mother’s instructions. Jimmy and Mary opened the front door and in minutes, Jimmy and Joey were playing outside catching baseballs. It was a good match, and the two boys became friends. Mary went over to meet her new neighbors. Frank was at work, but Karla welcomed Mary, and the two of them enjoyed their time together. Mary provided helpful information about local churches, the public school, stores, etc. At the end of the week, when Walt was home and had time to relax, Mary told Walt about the new neighbors, how happy Jimmy was to have a new friend, and how much Mary enjoyed talking with Karla. They decided to invite the new family over for a barbecue in their back yard. Karla and Frank were delighted to get to know their new neighbors even more.

The next afternoon, the new neighbors arrived and immediately, Walt and Frank were talking. Mary and Karla had each made different dishes for dinner and the two boys were playing outside. As the evening progressed, the topic of local politics came up, and Walt asked Frank about his party affiliation. Walt was disappointed and concerned to hear that Frank and Karla were members of the opposing party. As they talked, Walt discovered that Frank and Karla had several different opinions and beliefs about the next upcoming state election. Frank was interested in Walt’s point of view, and he listened respectfully to Walt’s ideas and priorities, but it became clear that Walt was not interested in learning about other perspectives or political positions. The dinner ended early, in part because Walt was annoyed and becoming angry. Frank and Karla were disappointed and took Joey home.

That night, Walt told Mary that he did not want to have their son playing with Joey any more. He did not want Mary to be visiting Karla, and he did not want to have anything to do with Frank. Jimmy was very disappointed when he found out that he could not play with his new friend and Mary was upset about Walt’s mandate. She talked to Walt but she could not change his mind. Mary loved her husband, and she accepted his sometimes-stubborn decisions, especially when it had to do with politics.

School started, and Jimmy and Joey were in the same first-grade class. They often ate lunch together and enjoyed each other’s company at school, but Jimmy never told his father. There was a new elementary-school baseball coach, and both boys were excited. They heard he had been a baseball player in the minor leagues years ago. The boys each asked their parents for permission to sign up for baseball practice after school. Frank and Karla fully supported Joey playing baseball with the new coach. However, Jimmy ran into a problem. Walt knew about Ron, the new baseball coach, and he refused to give Jimmy permission to be on the baseball team. Walt had seen Ron on the opposite side of the street when there was a recent march for the new water-supply regulations, which Walt’s political party was against. Ron was a member of the opposing party. Jimmy was heartbroken and in spite of Mary’s efforts, Walt would not change his mind.

At lunchtime, the two boys talked and Jimmy shared his disappointment with Joey, who was sad for his friend. Joey made it a point to tell Jimmy what he was learning about baseball from the new coach. Several of Jimmy’s other friends were on the baseball team, too. When the school day was over, Joey stayed for baseball practice. Jimmy would go home and bicycle on the street by himself. One day, Jimmy was practicing a new trick on his bicycle when he lost his balance just as a motorist was driving by. Fortunately, the driver was not going fast, but the side of the car did hit Jimmy as he fell down on the road. Karla was working outside and saw the accident. She ran over to Jimmy, called the police and an ambulance. She stayed with Jimmy until the medics came and took Jimmy to the hospital. He had a mild concussion and some bruises, but he was okay.

Mary was on her way home when Karla called, and she was so grateful that Karla had helped her son. Mary called Walt, and he was relieved that his son was safe. That evening, Walt and Mary walked over to Frank and Karla’s home and thanked Karla. Frank and Karla invited Walt and Mary into their home, but Walt declined. He said he had a full day at work and wanted to be with his son.

When they came home, Mary talked with Walt and asked him to reconsider his unwillingness to get to know Karla and Frank. Walt would not change his mind. Jimmy and Joey continued their friendship in school but only in school. Mary and Karla had joined a women’s organization, and they talked a lot before and after the meetings. Frank and Walt never became friends. Each couple continued to vote with the same political party they had been members of for years. Karla and Frank made many friends in the community as the years went by, but they often wished they could have been friends with their neighbors next door.

Catherine Nelson, Ph.D. has a counseling practice in Bozeman with many years of experience working with individuals and groups. She has taught at the Barbara Brennan School of Healing and is a certified Pathwork Helper. She offers workshops on personal transformation and energy healing and is available for individual sessions. Call Catherine at (406) 585-8025. E-mail to: cnhobbit@gmail.com. 

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Every Act of Kindness Helps Us Feel Our Own Goodness!

Catherine Nelson, Ph.D.
May – June 2025 • Vol 4, No 16

One act of kindness occurred on a train. It was a cold winter day in Philadelphia. Larry, who was retired, was taking the train to New York City to attend a new exhibit at one of the big museums. He boarded the train, bought a cup of coffee, and sat down to read a newspaper. At the Trenton station, Pete had his cup of coffee and his brief case in hand and climbed aboard to find a seat. He too was going to NYC, where he worked as an accountant at a well-known accounting firm. There were not many seats left. Just as Pete was ready to sit down, the train lurched forward. Pete lost his balance and spilled some of his coffee on Larry who was sitting next to him. Pete almost landed in Larry’s lap. Pete profusely apologized, and Larry helped Pete get settled next to him.

Larry put down his paper and they started chatting. Larry had been a businessman, and he and Pete found “common ground” and mutual interests. Pete could have retired a year ago, but he enjoyed working with his colleagues five days a week. Pete knew he needed to retire because his health was not so good. About a week ago, Pete went to his heart doctor who expressed concerns about his heart and wanted to run some tests. Pete had not told his wife about the doctor’s visit or his increasing health concerns. He loved his wife, Mia, but knew she would be worried. Mia wanted Pete to retire, and she had plans for activities they could do together. Pete was in conflict. He wanted to be with her but also enjoyed his work and his fellow professionals. He had not told anyone about his dilemma, and now, he was having trouble sleeping.

Pete and Larry chatted about current events as they drank their coffee. They were enjoying each other’s company when suddenly the train stopped. The conductor announced there would be a delay. The two men continued talking and the conversation became more personal. Pete learned that Larry was retired and that his wife had died five years ago. Larry missed her greatly. Larry had good friends who helped him in various ways, and he had adjusted to his life circumstances. Pete was listening and Larry noticed Pete had tears in his eyes. Larry became quiet and listened to Pete who wanted to keep working but it was getting harder for him. There were long hours traveling on the trains and sometimes he worked long hours. He was often tired by the end of the week.

Pete told Larry about how he had not told his wife about his health, and that he felt badly withholding information from her. They had always been honest and open with each other. Larry thoughtfully listened. He let Pete talk. He didn’t criticize or tell Pete what he should do. The train started moving once again.

As the train pulled into New York City, Pete turned to Larry and said, “Thank you for listening. I actually feel much better and I know what I have to do. When I go home tonight, I will tell my wife what has been going on for me. I love my wife and want to be with her.” Larry smiled at Pete and nodded. The two men shook hands before they got off the train and went their separate ways.

A second act of kindness was performed by my friend, Lisa. She lives in a condo, and from her living room window, she can see almost everyone else’s driveway in her small complex. Lisa has lived there for many years and knows most of the other residents. One of Lisa’s neighbors is a retired couple, Carla and Todd. They have been married for years and their adult children live in other states. Carla and Todd are enjoying their senior years with other friends in the local area. Todd was in the military for ten years, and he sustained several injuries during that time. Now that he is seventy-five, he needs a metal walker to get around. Todd is a very proud man. Years ago, he used to cut their grass, rake the leaves in the fall, and shovel snow in the winter. The only thing he can do now is get their mail from the mailbox every day. The mailbox is about fifty feet from their driveway and across the street. Carla knows how important it is for Todd to be able to do this one task. It gives him a sense of dignity and value.

However, in the winter there can be a lot of snow that needs to be shoveled and plowed, which is now done by a contractor for all the residents. Sometimes, there is still ice and snow around

that makes it hard for Todd to safely get to the mailbox. He cannot afford to fall, since it would be hard for him to get up and he could injure himself. Recently there was a big snow storm in the neighborhood. Lisa could see from her window that Todd was struggling to get his mail.

Lisa is about 50 years old and physically fit. She hikes and skis and loves the outdoors. One evening when there was still some daylight, she walked over to Carla and Todd’s condo and saw them inside watching the news on TV. Lisa quietly shoveled

some of the snow and ice from the garage door along the driveway and worked her way over to the mailbox. It took her about an hour to break up some of the ice and shovel the snow. She made sure the open space was wide enough for Todd’s walker.

The next day, when Todd went outside to get his mail, he stopped and was surprised that someone had shoveled a path for him. He looked around in all directions. He walked out to the end of his driveway and looked again but saw no one. He raised his arms to the sky and seemed very thankful. He had no trouble getting to his mailbox the rest of the week. Lisa shared that she was very happy to see Todd’s response to having a clear path to the mail box. As she finished her story, she smiled and said there was no need to tell Todd who had done the work.

The third act of kindness came from an electrician. Don had his own business as a licensed electrician. He was experienced and had a good reputation in the community. He charged his customers for his travel to and from their residence. He charged a second fee for an hour’s worth of work when he arrived. He also charged for any electrical parts he purchased for the repairs. Don would clearly explain these charges so the client knew what the cost would be.

One day, Don got a call from a resident in town. Mary was retired and she was a bird lover. All winter, she put out seed daily for the birds, and she had a deicer in her bird bath so the birds would have fresh water. However, one day a large chunk of snow about three feet high by two feet fell from her roof onto the bird bath. Mary had trouble getting the deicer to work and she thought the problem was with the outside outlet near the bird bath. She called Don and he explained his fees. The fees would be high for Mary, given her limited savings, but she wanted the birds to have water, so she agreed to the estimated charges. Don drove to her home the next day. He checked the outlet and reset it; checked the deicer and it was working. In barely five minutes he had helped Mary. As they were talking, Mary learned that Don was an avid bird watcher and they chatted about their love of wild birds.

They walked back to Don’s car, and he shared how grateful he was to be alive, since he had a sudden heart attack two months ago. He said he would have died if a stranger who found him lying on the street had not called the Rescue Squad. They were nearby, got him to the hospital, and he had surgery, which saved his life. Don said he was grateful for every day of his life. Mary pulled out her money from her wallet to pay Don and asked how much she owed him. Don took a deep breath and said he was not going to charge her anything. Mary was very grateful for Don’s generosity and thanked him.

We never know when an opportunity for an act of kindness will come our way. We never know how we might be able to help. Sometimes it can be as a good listener, sometimes it can be calling 911 to save a life. What we do know is that these unexpected moments will come along for each of us at times. What matters is our willingness to be of service when needed. Every act of kindness will help us feel our own goodness!

Catherine Nelson, Ph.D. has a counseling practice in Bozeman with many years of experience working with individuals and groups. She has taught at the Barbara Brennan School of Healing and is a certified Pathwork Helper. She offers workshops on personal transformation and energy healing and is available for individual sessions. Call Catherine at (406) 585-8025. E-mail to: cnhobbit@gmail.com. 

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A Long Life and a Loving Life

Catherine Nelson, Ph.D.
January – February 2025 • Vol 4, No 14

Two young brothers, Ben and Tom, were separated at an early age. Ben was four and Tom was two when their mother died. Their father did not feel he could care for his children, and he knew his wife had relatives in two nearby towns. The father gave Ben to relatives in one of the  nearby towns called Elmwood. Tom was placed with relatives in Linville, a town across the river. The father had struggled to earn a living for his family, and he believed they would have a better life with the relatives. Soon after, he moved away from the area.

The two towns were separated by the large river. There were small stores, food markets, and nearby farms on both sides of the river. The towns almost looked alike at this time, but they were different in significant ways socially. Elmwood was a community of frequent travelers and people in search of a better life. There was a constant mix of social backgrounds, languages and cultures. Ben’s relatives taught Ben to be suspicious and wary of others, to question their motives, and to always be mindful of his personal safety.

Linville began as a trading post, established by an honorable and caring family. They had a reputation over the years of friendliness, fairness in transactions, and welcoming of people who came to settle on the nearby land. A number of people settled in the area and raised their families over several generations. Tom grew up with his relatives mirroring the same values of good will, a willingness to trust others, and a desire to be good neighbors. The only way to get across the river was by boat. The relatives on either side of the river did not get along very well. They had a history of family disputes and different values. They had no interest in visiting the relatives on the other side of the river. As a result, the two brothers grew up with little knowledge of each other.

Tom had become a physically strong young man working long hours at a mill in Linville. He was kind, thoughtful, and caring about others in his life. He enjoyed helping friends and neighbors, both young and old. In a few family conversations, Tom heard that he had a brother and became more curious about him. Ben was also a strong and healthy young man in his late twenties earning a living. He had recently moved to his own living quarters. It was a room near the lumber yard where he had worked for several years. Ben was proud to find his own place and finally be on his own.

Tom had asked around and learned where Ben might be living. Tom saved his money and one Sunday morning, he paid the fee to cross the river on the ferry. It took a lot of money to cross the river, but Tom really wanted to find his brother. He did not know Elmwood, and it took him the better part of the day to find his way to the lumber yard. He was told where Ben was living, and he knocked on Ben’s door.

Ben opened the door and looked at Tom. Ben was suspicious that this young man was his brother. Ben had not been forewarned. He did not know what his brother might look like, and he thought Tom might be an imposter. However, Tom knew the names of the relatives who had raised Ben. Slowly, Ben was willing to talk to Tom. That day,  the two brothers went to a nearby bar and had drinks together. They took a walk along the river and went fishing. Tom was happy to have found his brother and spend time with him. Ben remained suspicious even after Tom left and was relieved when Tom had to get back to the last ferry ride of the day.

Tom visited Ben several times that year, wanting to get to know Ben better. Each time Tom had carefully saved his money for the ferry and was happy that he was getting to know his brother. Ben was a quiet man who did not talk easily, but Tom was patient with him. As a child, Ben’s relatives told him that “he should be seen and not heard.” Ben complied and became a dutiful young man. Ben was hesitant talking with his brother, but they continued to go for walks and fish together.

There were a number of years when Tom could not visit Ben. There had been major flooding from the river and many homes had been washed away in Linville. Lots of people needed help in many ways to get back on their feet. The following years, there were storms and major fires that again challenged many of the homeowners and locals. The residents of Linville worked together, helping each other and caring for the needy, sharing their resources with everyone. They were able to create a community once again, both physically and emotionally.

Elmville also had the same major floods and storms, but the residents had a harder time recovering. Some people left. Some people suffered major losses with no help from others to recover or rebuild and reestablish a sense of safety for their families. The local people were less inclined or interested in helping others who were struggling. They didn’t know each other, and they believed it was up to each person to take care of their own. Ben helped his relatives, working hard to help them rebuild their home. Ben believed it was up to the elected town officials to manage the needed repairs for others. He said that is what they are paid to do. However, there was too much damage and many left the town. Many buildings needed to be torn down and rebuilt. There were numerous health issues for those that stayed. It took years for the town to recover.

Several years passed until Tom was able to visit Ben once again. Now it was easier for Tom, because there was a new bridge across the river, and Tom did not have to pay a fee to walk across it. Ben was surprised to see Tom once again. Ben always had a lot of criticisms and complaints about many things; Tom just listened most of the time. Ben asked a lot of questions and challenged Tom’s beliefs about the inherent goodness of people. Tom loved his brother and simply enjoyed being with him, walking and fishing together.

Both men had made it to their seventies. One day, Tom came to visit Ben. Tom told Ben that he was not feeling well. The doctor said he had a serious heart problem. Ben listened, asked a few questions, and the two men went fishing at one of their favorite locations. Tom was able to visit Ben two more times before he died.

The residents of Linville were very fond of Tom. He was well known, and he had been honored several times over the years for his good deeds and caring of others. For the very first time, Ben walked across the bridge to attend Tom’s funeral in Linville. Ben was surprised and overwhelmed by all the people in attendance. He had no idea of the extent of Tom’s contribution to their lives. Tom had never talked to Ben about his good deeds. Ben lived another ten years. He missed Tom in a way he never expected to feel or even wanted to feel about anyone. Once a week, while he was still able, Ben would walk down to the river and fish in their favorite place, remembering his brother.

Catherine Nelson, Ph.D. has a counseling practice in Bozeman with many years of experience working with individuals and groups. She has taught at the Barbara Brennan School of Healing and is a certified Pathwork Helper. She offers workshops on personal transformation and energy healing and is available for individual sessions. Call Catherine at (406) 585-8025. E-mail to: cnhobbit@gmail.com. Visit: RockyMtnPathwork.org.

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A Lesson Learned…

Catherine Nelson, Ph.D.
September – October 2024 • Vol 4, No 12

Yes, my friends, this is a true story…

A friend recently shared an event that happened to her. Beth is in her fifties. Her husband died in a car accident a few years ago. Beth has worked in a professional position at a local business for many years, and now she is the manager. She is good at solving problems—she enjoys people and wants to help others any way she can. Her five-day-a-week job sometimes re-quires extra hours. Several nights a week, she is a volunteer at the local library. By all accounts, she is a successful, caring person leading a busy life. Beth is also well organized and has good skills in planning ahead with all of her activities.

Two weeks ago, she decided to take several vacation days to work on some personal projects at home—her garden needed repair, her bedroom needed painting, and she wanted to get rid of some items in her garage. Already two vacation days had passed, and she was making progress with her to-do list.

On Friday, Beth decided she had some time to go on a bike ride at a nearby park, along the trails in the woods and then around the lake. She had not ridden her bike for several years, so on Friday night, she made a list of items she wanted to be sure to bring on her ride. The list included her helmet, water bottle, cell phone, gloves, tire pump, tool kit, wind breaker, etc. She felt prepared, and off she went on Saturday at 6:30 am.

It was barely daylight as she bicycled into the woods. The sky was a deep blue, and there was a cool wind blowing. Beth proceeded slowly on the trail and kept looking ahead in case someone was walking their dog. She was surprised at the many plants and bushes encroaching on the trail, making it unexpectedly narrow.

Beth came around a tight bend on the trail and suddenly, she saw a young skunk jump out of the bushes in front of her. Both Beth and the skunk were surprised to see each other. The skunk turned and ran back into the bushes. Beth kept moving and cycled past the skunk. She was relieved that she had not hit the skunk. She thought she had moved quickly enough and had not been sprayed.

Well, Beth was wrong. She HAD been sprayed! Beth continued to bicycle around the lake. She noticed a slight smell of skunk in the air. She thought maybe there had been another skunk in the area. Beth rode home and was pleased with her bike ride, but when she stopped, she soon realized that the skunk had sprayed her bike, her bike tires, her sneakers, and her legs.

Beth had planned to do more things that day. She was going to the Farmer’s Market, the post office, and then the hardware store. However, she couldn’t go anywhere because of the skunk smell! She had to stay home and work on cleaning her bike, washing her sneakers, and cleaning herself from the smell. Beth worked hard that morning doing her best to get rid of the smell. It took several washings to clean the smell off her body. That afternoon, she sat outside near her garden, eating her lunch.

This was not what she had planned for her Saturday or Sunday. Her weekend had been turned upside down. She had to go to work on Monday and did not want any skunk smell on her body. Beth stayed home the rest of Saturday and all of Sunday, working by herself.

Over the weekend, Beth thought about the unexpected event and slowly realized how much she was enjoying staying home with no schedule and no responsibilities to anyone else. A sense of peace and feelings of freedom started to creep into her being. She actually read a magazine, cooked two of her favorite vegetable recipes, took a nap, and watched a favorite movie on Saturday night.

On Sunday morning, Beth sat outside and listened to the birds chirping in the trees. She wondered if there was a bigger message for her. Usually she was too busy to enjoy the peace and solitude of being home, being alone, and doing things to restore herself. There was little time for self-reflection in her life, but maybe she could begin to do it differently. She realized she had unresolved feelings about her husband’s death. She had not taken any time to attend to her needs for self-growth and self-regeneration. Some of her ongoing skills at “planning” and “doing” and always being busy were perhaps a pattern of avoidance of her own deeper feelings.

When Beth called me and shared all that happened from the skunk spraying her, she laughed and said, “There is no way you can prepare for an unexpected event that comes along.” She said the unexpected event had interrupted her usual way of living. She is going to make some changes in her life to help her find time for herself and for her own self-care.

Together we laughed, as she said she could never imagine getting sprayed by a skunk, and she could never imagine it would lead to several personal insights.

Catherine Nelson, Ph.D., has a counseling practice in Bozeman with many years of experience working with individuals and groups. She has taught at the Barbara Brennan School of Healing and is a certified Pathwork Helper. She offers workshops on personal transformation and energy healing and is available for individual sessions. Call Catherine at (406) 585-8025. E-mail cnhobbit@gmail.com. Visit: RockyMtnPathwork.org.

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